An Idiot Abroad 2 premieres in the USA on The Science Channel 10pm 21st January. Have a look at it..its funny !
New Year Honours List
January 2, 2012 by
The Pursuit
December 19, 2011 by
On the Roof-The Pursuit
The Pursuit George Square Glasgow
I just finished some 2nd Unit photography on The Pursuit, a feature film by writer-director Shan Khan. It stars Paddy Considine along with Aiysha Hart and Faraz Ayub. We wrapped on Saturday after some fairly extreme weather challenges thanks to Hurricane “Bawbag”. Its a thriller which deals with “honour” killing in the Muslim community. Its set largely in Southall, London but was shot in Isle of Man and Glasgow.
Idiot Abroad Nominated
December 12, 2011 by
A Week Off
January 30, 2009 by
A Week Off
I got a wee cough
nothing serious
just persistent
my wife seemed cool
a little distant
and resistant
to anything I offered
by way of a joke
“I told you not to smoke”
she sounded
very satisfied
I sighed.
I went to see the doctors
got sent for tests
to know the truth
it’s for the best
“You’ve got Big C”
they said with max reverb
I said “Oh?
How long? What chances?
Why does my voice echo?
What’s the word?
I threw up
in the institute
in the chemo
on the radio
but after stem ginger
more carrots
than you could
shake a stick at
and what puritan joys
I could afford
I settled into micro-life
it was jolly
in the ward.
When I slid away from them
all the friends I’d met that day
and all the ones from decades back
it was a wondrous journey
the best I’ve made….
a starry tunnel then the light
shining reunion with mother
in a long white dress
and a young beauty again.
She said
“Who’s that dreadful girl
you were with?”
I looked back
saw my wife
mouthing the words
“I told you so!”
Down at The Fiddlers
January 5, 2009 by
Down at the Fiddlers
for one the other night
they were asking me:
“Does your old Dutch still chew steak knives?”
I said “No, though she’s still a good sword-swallower.
She’s taken to chewing Scotch Eggs
and she spits the gristly bits
on the waxed parquet
which irks me.”
“Irks?”they said
I said “Yes I feel irked sometimes,
because my espadrilles skid
on minced rectal tissue.”
“How are the kids?”
they said by way of passing time
“They’re fine…just fine
just fine…”
Fertiliser Time in the Vega Baja
October 5, 2008 by
Fertiliser time in the Vega Baja
God what a niff!
They’ve been piling it on today.
Set off on my bike
with a nice Scotch Egg in a plastic bag…..
really looking forward to my roadside lunch,
ended up retching with chicken-shit ammonia
fizzing in my eyes,
strong slurry spreading its stain
splashing my clean white legs
and God knows what else
searing my lungs and
damaging healthy tissue.
Terra organica?
No I don’t bloody think so!
Still the goats have sleek brown coats
and there’s going be a fine succulent
Christmas crop of fresh globe artichokes
As D.H. Lawrence would say
August 5, 2008 by
Mitsouro
March 30, 1997 by
Mitsouro
This samurai was careless,
lost his toes and thumbs last year to cold
and now, his boots packed out
with cotton waste,
tiny, yellow and alone
he walks on water again.
This is not Tokyo
This is High Arctic winter
we mumble to each other
as he dons a mask
to keep his face intact
not filter out pollution,
a spray can of pepper
in his frosted bib
to deter the hungry bears.
They take him in a helicopter
and leave him on a frozen sea
he has free will we say
and eastern inscrutability
and then
no news
Some years later a Japanese whaler finds
fragments of a bloodstained feather jacket
embedded in multi-year ice
there are pieces of human gut and organ
a sponsor’s logo from a bank
and a rusty unopened aerosol
in a pocket.
They say the old men of Japan
are leaving Scotch for Karaoke
the middleaged leave love for Mitsubishi
and the young all gone to Hare Kiri
lacking purpose and hope
A disembowelled youth is useless,
makes a mess
Mitsouro knew this,
but walked on water
and died nevertheless.
Eve Arnold
Let’s mark the passing of Eve Arnold, photographer extraordinaire who has been one of my enduring models for all my picture-making days. 99yrs old…..and what a life! She had an exhilarating eye driven always by kindness…..